i n so mia

Previously I used to laugh at people who has sleeping problem.

Now I have to eat my own words, and laugh at myself.


This isn't good. It's been three days of having sleepless night.

Ever since that day.

I tried to empty my mind, it failed.

I tried to meditate, it too, failed.

I stuck my earphones and tuned the volume of my Ipod to the loudest, it only hurt my ears.

I was that desperate to turn to the help of alcohol, but I did not cause it only promotes hangover the day after.

I swear I'll never contact you again, but my finger's lingering on the phone's button, gazing at your contact.

Maybe ya peng's right. An emo person's word couldn't be trusted. No matter what bloody promises one sworn during emo phase, it was only to ease the pain at that particular interval. Perhaps, I am not willing to give up, no matter how hard I try. Sorry peng, I'm not qualified to tell you not to emo, when I myself cannot handle it properly. I am still learning, a lot of things.

I always tell myself, I'm a typical Capricorn.
感情上，不是说喜欢就会喜欢，然而，喜欢上了，不是说不喜欢就可以不喜欢。每一次要摆脱一段感情，都会花上我很多很多的时间和体力。就快痊愈时，当事人又波动起涟漪，我一定回头，跳入好不容易才爬出来的坑。那种古板，固执，几十年来都无法摆脱。

No matter what, I'm grateful that I have a lot of friends who are willing to spend time healing me. It's not that I do not listen to the advice and scolding, I actually pick them up and appreciate them all. It is just that, sometimes, I'm too controlled by my emotion rather than rationality, that I repeated mistakes over and over again. Just want to say sorry, and thanks a lot, for everything..